Carried Away by Love
by Calmer of the Storm
Summary: They grew up together. They were best friends. He was in love with her, she didn't want that kind of relationship. He said he would wait, she didn't believe him. He said he would wait for as long as it took. Takari.
1. Averil's Ideal

Calmer of the Storm: Soooo…yeah. I may end up shooting myself later for this one, haha, but here it is. I was singing a song from 'Anne and Gilbert: The Musical' this morning (called 'Carried Away by Love', who'd have thought?) and it just hit me. That would be from the Anne of Green Gables series, of course. So basically that's where I got the plot, from the song and from the musical. It's gonna be different, of course, though I haven't quite worked out the details…it'll come as I write. But I actually have the ending written! I just couldn't give Takeru such a hard time without first writing the happy ending (sorry if I spoiled it for you xD) because then I would probably get myself all depressed. Lol. I don't know how long this will be, but I don't plan on making it all that long…well, I've said that before. I also don't plan on taking three years to finish the story. Haha. Hopefully having already written the end will get me moving on this thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Never have, never will. I don't own the song, either.

_Look at the lovers aren't they a picture_

_Dancing so fine under the moonlight_

_Almost as in a trance_

_Under the spell of the Dance_

_Carried away by love_

**Carried Away by Love**

By: Calmer of the Storm

~*~

I don't know when I realised that he had feelings for me. I've known it for a while, though I've outwardly denied it. People always used to tell me that he liked me, that I was stupid to not see it. I would simply laugh it off and say something along the lines of 'no, we're just friends' and then they would roll their eyes at me. I didn't know what it was for him, but for me, that's all it was. Friends. Best friends. Takeru and Hikari; TK and Kari. We grew up together, fought in the Digital World together. But that's it. I don't love him. At least, not the way they want me to. It's true that right now he is the most important boy, maybe even the most important person, in my life. But that's all I want. I know that someday I'll come across someone who will be _more_ important. Don't get me wrong; I always want him to be in my life. I don't think I could see any sort of life without him. But I also can't see myself _with_ him. At least, not in a capacity that is labelled anything more than 'best friends'.

What I didn't realise, was how much he loved me. It came as a shock to me. Maybe I should have seen it coming; I had noticed the way he'd started to act differently around me. I hadn't hated it; he hadn't gotten awkward about it. He had just gotten…closer. I noticed that he paid more attention to me than he had before. Sure, we've always walked to school together, but for some reason this just felt different. I noticed the look in his eyes when he watched me, how he completely ignored other girls. He was the star of the basketball team at Odaiba High, and they fawned over him. He was cute, of course, and I often wondered why he hadn't gotten himself a girlfriend yet. Once I asked him, and he simply laughed and told me that he just wasn't ready. It hadn't bothered me then like it does now. But he'd never dated, and now it was beginning to feel like he was waiting on the sidelines for something.

I suppose I should have seen the warning flags. That day he had been rather fidgety, moreso than usual. I attributed it to the big game they had that evening, but now that I think about it it's silly. Basketball was important to him, but not so important that he would get so worked up about it. He asked me three or four times if I was going, and then another two if I would wait for him after the game. I always waited; didn't he know that? I supposed he really must have been nervous about it, if he'd forgotten that. There wasn't anything in the world that would have me miss one of his games. I knew he liked to have me there.

He came out of the dressing room after the game, that nervous look still in his eyes. He tried to hide it, but he was never good at those things. Not around me, at least. I knew him too well. But I also knew that he would tell me if and when he felt the need to. Takeru wasn't one that should be rushed. It was a miracle that he opened up to me at all, his older brother told me once. Never wanting to be seen as the cry baby, Takeru tended to keep things in. Maybe that's why we got so close. Apart from being the same age, we had little else in common. But I held things in too, and there was something about him that acted like a truth serum. I couldn't hide anything from him if my life depended on it. My reasons for holding things in were different, though. I just never wanted to seem a burden. Takeru has helped me see through that, though. Still, there are things that I can tell him and only him. I didn't see that changing any time soon.

We had walked out to the park, which again was not that unusual. Often we took hours to get home. But this time I knew something was off. His pace was slow, but deliberately so. Usually we meandered through here as if there was nothing to worry about. We were just two silly teenagers staying up way too late on a school night.

Takeru had stopped, though, and again I saw him fidget. When he turned his gaze on me, I had seen the conflict in his eyes. Those eyes were captivating; I could never deny that. Deep and mysterious to those who did not know him, and the window to his very soul to those who did. He ran a hand through his golden blonde hair, a stress habit he had picked up from his older brother. I hoped nothing too serious was bothering him; I hoped I would know how to help him. Seeing TK like this was not doing my nerves so well either.

And then, finally, a look of resignation had crossed his face. He shook his head slowly, and smiled softly. It wasn't my favourite smile, though, just a ghost of it. It didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm in love with you." He finally said. I had wanted to laugh, but I saw the look on his face. He was being serious.

It took me a moment to realise that I had been silent for way too long. The shock of it wore off and I came back to the present. Takeru was still standing there, though he was staring at the ground now. His hands were shoved into his pockets and his shoulders were slumped. I could tell that he wasn't expecting much.

"T-Takeru, I…" I didn't even know how to begin. How was I to respond to that? My best friend had just told me that he loved me. Love. I didn't even know what that was! I knew I loved my parents and my brother, and I loved my friends and I loved him. But not in the way that he was professing to me now. I though we had a good thing going, why would he want to change that? I just didn't understand. Things between us had been the same for as long as I can remember. He has been a part of my life, as my best friend, for a very long time. I knew I didn't want that to change.

I heaved with a sigh, and I reached out to grab his hand. It was a comforting gesture, one that he knew well. I knew it wouldn't give him any hope. He seemed to know what my answer would be.

"I'm sorry, Takeru." I started. It was incredibly hard for me to do, and my voice was just barely above a whisper. "I just…we've been friends for so long, I…"

Slowly he nodded his head, then he lifted it to look at me. What I saw there startled me. His eyes were sad, but he was smiling. It was strange, though; he wasn't as crushed as I'd feared. There seemed to be, along with the slight resignation, a sense of determination in him. I don't know why, but it frightened me.

"It's okay, I know." And I knew that he did. Often we communicated without words, this time didn't seem any different.

And then he took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. His captivating gaze still held my own, and he smiled a little stronger. "I'll wait for you. As long as it takes."

I was stunned speechless. It took me a few seconds to realise that my mouth was hanging open. Snapping it shut, I shook my head and tried to pull my hand from his. He wouldn't let go. "N-no, you shouldn't say that. We're best friends, Takeru. Why do you want to change that?"

I could see that my words had stung him, and I instantly regretted it. But I didn't want him to make such promises. I didn't want to hurt him, in the long run. How was he supposed to find the person he was meant to be with, if he had eyes for only me? All our lives it had just been the two of us. His affections had to be simply based on that. He was biased; I was the only girl he'd ever gotten close to, so naturally he would fancy himself in love with me.

"You should, you know, play the field a little. Get to know…other girls too."

I watched as he thought about this, but I didn't see the response on his face I had been hoping for.

"And what if I find a new best friend?" He wasn't being serious; I could see that. He was just trying to prove a point. I didn't have an answer for him, and he didn't push for one.

Another lapse of silence passed; I watched him as he mulled things over in his mind. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, then once again locked his eyes with mine. "I'll walk you home."

I nodded and tried to once more pull my hand from his, but he wasn't having any of it. The rest of our walk was in silence, though it was comfortable. He wasn't sullen, and I knew that I would be the one to lose sleep that night.

~*~

It was incredible how things didn't change between us. I suppose they did, to some degree, but it wasn't anything too drastic. I noticed that he still paid more attention to me than he should, but I didn't find it uncomfortable. He still smiled brightly, and his eyes never lost their shine of hope. He and I still got caught up in our pointless banter, and he and Davis still fought like a married couple. What had changed was that he was…closer. I was much more aware of him now, so maybe I just hadn't noticed before. But he would reach over and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, or gently guide me through the hallways with a hand at my waist. While we sat his arm would be around the back of my chair. Others seemed to notice, though only Miyako pounced on me for it. Because of her nature I was obligated to give her the details of our conversation, to which she called me insane. She was convinced that I was in love with him, I was just either in denial or I didn't know it yet. I could only offer a silent nod; she would never understand. She'd been with Ken for quite some time now, and she was already planning the wedding…

And so it was in this manner that the school year passed. Takeru had gotten into Osaka University on a basketball scholarship, and I was going there to study to become a teacher. They also had a good photography program, which I would probably dabble in for my electives. Long ago we had promised to go to the same school, and I wasn't breaking that now.

Another promise that needed to be carried out was one which involved the matter of prom. The first day of high school he made me promise to go with him, providing that I hadn't found anyone that I liked more than him. That certainly wasn't the case now, though I was wary. Prom was not necessarily a time for lovers, but the implications were there. I was afraid of what feelings we might get caught up in; what the lights and the music and the dancing could do to me. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to get carried away. But he never brought it up, not until a few weeks before, and it was only to double check that I was still going with him. Of course I was; I had promised. And best friends don't break promises to each other.

Our prom was on a Saturday, and Miyako insisted that we get ready together. That day was more nerve wracking than I thought it should be, but the only thing I could do was wait. It was just Takeru; just my best friend. Everything would be fine. Nothing had changed between us, and it certainly wasn't going to change tonight.

~*~

Calmer of the Storm: Alrighty! I have the bare bones of this story worked out…so hopefully things will move smoothly! I've decided that there will be 5 chapters, one for each verse in the song (and chorus) and then a reprise of one of the verses. I can't see there being any more than that, at this point, but you never know.

Anyways…hope you enjoyed it, and don't forget to drop a review! I'd love to know what you guys think of my spur-of-the-moment idea.

**Next Chapter:** The prom!

"Dance with me, Hikari", I said, though I knew she was hesitant. I knew she saw the couples on the dance floor, and it made her nervous. I smiled and held out my hand for encouragement, "Do you really think that we're like that? Don't worry, we won't get carried away."


	2. All I can do is wait

Calmer of the Storm: You guys should be proud of me. I started this RIGHT AFTER initially publishing the story.

Note: The chapter titles are all others songs from the musical :)

_They hear the music _

_They feel the moonlight_

_They don't resist their sonnets calling _

_Dare you to dance with me_

_We're not the kind who could be_

_Carried away by love_

**Chapter Two: All I can do is wait**

~*~

My confession hadn't gone as well as I had planned it. Then again, maybe it had gone as I had expected. I'd never been so nervous in my life, and I knew that I was making a fool of myself. And I knew that she noticed; she was just far too kind to actually say anything about it. I knew, though, as soon as she had met my confession with silence, what her response would be. Surprisingly, the rejection hadn't stung as much as I thought it would. Maybe those few moments had allowed me to gather up my nerve. She wasn't ready; that much was clear. I was not oblivious to the boys that eyed her, though I daresay that she was. I also knew that the only thing holding them back from doing anything about their affections was me. And I certainly wasn't going to passively move out of the way, regardless of what she thought of me right now.

I decided, right then and there in that silence, that I would wait. I would wait until I was dead, she was dead, or secure in the arms of another man. I would have to make sure that he was worthy, of course, though that would be hard. I knew that I probably didn't even deserve her, but at least I knew her well. I knew the secret life she had, for it was one we shared. Facts about the digital world could not be easily spread, and I knew I had at least that going for me.

The prospect of prom had made me a little nervous. I was glad to see that my confession hadn't scared her off like I thought it would. It was both painful and relieving to know that things hadn't really changed between us. But I wasn't going to back down. Every little opportunity that presented itself, I would take it. Anything to show her that my devotion to her went beyond that of a best friend's. I knew she noticed, it was just a matter of getting her to respond. But I would wait forever, if I had to.

Prom had scared me because I had been afraid she wouldn't want to go anymore. I had avoided the topic until I couldn't any longer, and was glad to know that she had simply expected it. Her response was a simple "of course", accompanied by a look that meant she thought I was insane for thinking anything different. Even if it was only out of her sense of duty to our friendship, I would take it.

The girls had gotten together for the day, and I thought I'd be able to get out without any further obligations. But no; the _boys_ had to get ready together as well. Miyako's idea, of course, which was the reason we were all gathered at Ken's house. How he handled such a strong personality I would never know, and I was glad that Hikari tended to be on the quieter side of things. I had contemplated still skipping out on this whole ordeal, but Miyako had offered threats that were hard to ignore. And I knew that she would know whether I was there or not. There was something about women being able to pry any and every ounce of information out of their boyfriends that they wanted. So I opted for the (slightly) less painful option of getting together with Davis and Ken, who were just about as thrilled about this whole thing as I was.

The three of us were dressed pretty similar; there wasn't much variation to guys clothing anyways. The difference came in the shade of back of our jackets and pants, the pin-stripe design, and the colour of our shirts and ties. I'd had no say in what I was wearing, really; had to match Hikari. Miyako had taken us boys out shopping and directed to us what we were going to wear.

I tugged a little at the burgundy shirt I had on; I didn't like being so formal. Gym clothes were what I lived in, and I knew that Hikari wouldn't mind if that's what I showed up in. The tie I wore was simple and black; I wouldn't allow anything more elaborate than that.

Finally it was time to go. Matt had been kind enough to drive us all, since he had a car. Well, actually it was Dad's SUV, but it didn't matter. There were six of us in total, including Davis' date, so it would be a little snug. But it was better than walking over, and there was no way that any of us could justify renting a limo or something. Miyako had wanted it, but the rest of us had thought it much too over-the-top. She had lost that one.

As we rang the doorbell to Miyako's house, I found myself a little nervous. I knew that Kari was beautiful; that had never escaped me. I had seen her in dresses before, but nothing ever like this. I had no idea what the dress looked like (Miyako had forbidden it; we didn't argue, though we thought it rather ridiculous. This wasn't a wedding), so I didn't know what to expect. All I could conclude was that it was burgundy, or at least a colour that would match what I was wearing.

There was a shuffle on the other side of the door, followed by a few voices, some yelling, and a loud thump. The three of us shared a glance, and we all knew that it was probably better not to ask. The door was flung open and on the other side was a rather frazzled-looking Miyako, dressed in a light pink gown with white, strappy sandals in her hands. I had to admit; she looked really good. Her long, Lavender hair was down for the most part, though it had been curled. A handful of bobby pins held a few strands of hair up and out of her face. She also wasn't wearing her glasses, which was probably the most noticeable change.

"Um, hi!" She greeted, standing to her full height. With those heels on she would be taller than Ken, but I guess that didn't bother her too much.

"We're just about ready, just gotta do the finishing touches."

She moved out of the doorway to let us in. Finishing touches? They'd had _all day_ to get ready. What could possibly be holding them up now? Something told me that I was never going to understand women.

A full five minutes had passed, and I knew that Matt was probably getting anxious in the car. Sarah, Davis' date, came down the stairs next. She looked good too, and judging by Davis' reaction he thought so as well. I elbowed him in the ribs as I caught him staring, and I swore I heard Ken stifling a snicker behind me.

"Miyako, do I _really_ have to wear these? I'm going to fall over!" It was Hikari's voice, coming from the top of the stairs.

The girl who had been addressed emerged out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes. "That's what Takeru's for." The tone of her voice indicated that this was obviously a well-known fact.

I heard a sigh from upstairs, then saw as the bathroom light went off. Hikari made her appearance last, and I knew that I would regret razzing Davis for staring at his own date. She was breathtaking. The dress was burgundy, as I had suspected, and it complimented her eyes in a way that I hadn't realised the colour would do. She was wearing a light touch of make-up; nothing too drastic, but just enough to enhance her natural beauty. The dress itself was made of a light and flowing material, and it flounced around her knees as she walked. There was only one, thick strap that held it up on one of her shoulders, leaving the other one bare and exposed. The diagonal cut on the hem of the dress at her knee only accented the top. Her short hair had been pulled out of her face, it too curled into ringlets.

The next thing I was aware of was a sharp pain in my foot; Davis had stomped on it. I turned to smack him but he ducked out of the way. I wasn't going to let him get away with that, but a sharp glare from Miyako stilled any further attempts. I'd have to get him back later.

Hikari had taken her place at my side, and was currently working on getting her shoes on. She was right; the things were death traps. But I wasn't going to let her fall if my life depended on it. She seemed unaware of my entrancement, but I couldn't be too sure. I just hoped it wouldn't put her off for the evening if she had.

The ride over was squished, but nobody died. I would have preferred not sitting in between Davis and Ken, however it had been insisted that such seating arrangements apply. Matt was in total agreement, and since it was his car, we were stuck with it. Hikari had placed herself beside him in the passenger's seat, as she knew him better than the other two girls did. I found myself slightly jealous of my brother; not because I felt there were any feelings, just that he got to spend the time with her and I didn't.

My sulking would only last so long, however, as the drive was short. Once out of the car Hikari instantly attached herself to my arm.

"Sorry", she said, a little sheepish, "I'm afraid I'll trip."

There was a light blush across her cheeks and her head was tilted slightly towards the ground. How was I supposed to resist _that_? Though a little flustered I managed a smile, patting her on the arm gently. "Don't worry about it, I got you covered." Her responding smile was the only thing I needed.

I wasn't sure what the big hype over prom was. The only reason I was here was because I had so naively asked Kari so long ago, and I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be with her. The music was loud and the flashing lights made it hard to see everything. The hotel was done up nicely, though it wasn't anything too fancy. It seemed like this whole thing was a little last-minute, and so a local venue had been rented. It was better than the school gym, however, so I suppose I shouldn't be complaining too much.

There was a dinner, of course, though it consisted mostly of vegetables and potatoes. It wasn't horrible, but I'm pretty sure that most of it ended up on the floor. Between Davis flinging it across the table and Miyako's inability to balance food on a fork, it was everywhere. Not that the rest of us didn't join in on the flinging; it was just that Davis was the one who started it.

The already dim lights when lower and the music suddenly got louder. The dance floor had been opened, and it was not hard to spot. The massive crowd of people that flocked to it made it rather distinguishable in the large room. I relaxed into my seat, though, as I didn't feel particularly compelled to join in. Davis was the only one who seemed at all enthusiastic about it, and Ken had been dragged to the dance floor by his girlfriend. That left me and Kari, for Sarah had followed Davis, to sit and watch. Really, I wasn't complaining.

She had changed seats to sit beside me, and I rested my arm comfortably around the back of her chair. It was difficult to have a conversation, but we were far enough back from the speakers that it wasn't impossible.

"You look really good", I managed to say. I realised that I hadn't actually told her yet.

She smiled softly, tilting her head to the side a little. "Thanks. You look pretty good yourself." I knew she meant it, but the context was different for her. Oh well, I would take what I could get.

The music continued to play, the bass thumping through the floor. At one point Miyako came to drag Hikari onto the floor. I firmly insisted that I was not going, and I was shot an apologetic glance by Kari as she left me. A few moments later Ken returned, taking Kari's place at my side. We sat in silence until the girls returned, both of them flushed pink from the heat and exertion of moving so much. I sighed internally; how she could get more beautiful, I didn't know. But she'd done it again.

When the music slowed, suddenly the throng of people wasn't so big any more. People filed off back to the tables, and only a handful of couples remained. I could spot a few of them; some official, and some not. Some surprised me; I hadn't expected the shy and quiet Kei to end up with the loud and boisterous Sakuya. Whether this was a one-evening thing or something that had been going on for a while, I didn't know. I suspected it would be floating around the halls on Monday, when we were all back in class.

I hadn't noticed it until I looked to the girl who was at my side once more, but a lump had formed in my throat. I found my heart pounding in that moment, and I knew that I wanted to dance with her. Maybe it wasn't to dance so much, but I just wanted to hold her. It was an opportunity that would not otherwise present itself, and I knew I should take advantage of it if I wanted anything to come of it.

Looking over at her I knew she was slightly uncomfortable. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her posture was rigid, as if expecting me to ask but dreading it. I had to smile; I wasn't going to let this one pass so easily.

"Dance with me, Hikari", I said, though I knew she was hesitant. I knew she saw the couples on the dance floor, and it made her nervous. I smiled and held out my hand for encouragement, "Do you really think that we're like that? Don't worry, we won't get carried away."

She relaxed a little, allowing a small smile to creep across her features. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I knew she was conflicted; I just wish I knew why. Everything within me hoped that she was sorting out her feelings for me, her heart leaning in the direction of properly answering my confession of a few weeks ago. But Hikari was never one to do things quickly, and I knew that this was certainly no exception.

I was standing out of my seat now, still holding my hand out for her. I saw the resolution set on her face and she reached up to accept. "Maybe just one."

I pulled her hand to my lips, placing a delicate kiss upon her knuckles. "As you wish, my lady."

She rolled her eyes, but I noticed, even in the bad lighting, the blush on her cheeks. A small victory, perhaps, but I would take it.

We took our place among the couples, our position mirroring theirs. It felt good to have her in my arms like this; it felt right. Our eyes locked and I didn't intend for that to change. "Are you at least having a good time?" I asked. The proximity at least allowed for trivial conversation.

She nodded. "Yes, thank you. I might not have come, if I hadn't been pushed."

I smiled. "I wouldn't have come if you hadn't."

Her brow furrowed as she pursed her lips. "You mean to say that I could have gotten out of this torture?"

My smile never left my face. "No, you promised, remember?"

She only rolled her eyes.

~*~

It was incredible how quickly time moved. It didn't seem like that long ago that we were just entering high school, and now it was time to leave. We'd spent four years of life in this school. It was bittersweet; the closing of one chapter and the opening of another. Many of the people I had become friends with I would never see again. There were promises of lunch and of e-mails and phone calls, but I knew that those wouldn't hold. I myself was guilty of doing the same, but I suppose it was just the thing to do. If the initial intent was there, at least there would be a sense of friendly parting. There were some friends, of course, that I would keep in touch with. Those of us who had been in the Digital World had a bond that couldn't be broken by mere distance. We needed each other; the secret was hard to carry alone. That was one of the reasons why I was glad Kari was still coming with me to school; I don't know if I could start over completely. I'm not as strong as she likes to think I am. Sure, making friends is no problem, but I would always miss my friends at home. I would always miss _her_.

Our graduation ceremony had gone just like any other, the end of it completed with a customary throwing of hats. As they rained down on our heads it was easy to see the mixed feelings on the faces of the people; they were just like mine.

Stepping out of the car and onto the University campus was perhaps what suddenly made everything real. Kari was on the other side; our brothers had driven us down.

"We're here", I heard her say. Well, we had made the stop at her dorm. Mine was on the other side of campus. Go figure. But if anyone thought that that was going to stop me from seeing her as much as possible, they were wrong. I think we had one class together, a mandatory one for first years. So I'd, at the very least, see her twice a week. I was determined to see her more, however.

"Shall we unload your stuff? It might take a few trips." She packed like a girl…did she really need to bring her _entire_ wardrobe? Was she really going to need all of those extra…things? There were a few bags that I knew were not clothing, but I was afraid to ask what might be in them.

Being on the other side of the car didn't stop her from retaliating, but the time it took her to run around the back of it at least gave me a moment to prepare. She only smacked me on the arm, though, which wasn't much different from what she usually did to me after I've made some sort of snide remark. Hikari wasn't a violent person by any stretch of the word. Not to mention that she probably couldn't hurt me if she tried; but I wasn't going to tell her that.

It took the rest of the day, but both our rooms were finally set up. It was still rather early, only around eight-thirty, but both of us were tired. It had been a long and tiring endeavour to get these rooms set up. I thought mine was going to be easy; I didn't have a roommate, just by luck of the draw, so I figured that just dumping my stuff in there for now would be fine. I had visions of exploring the campus with Kari, however she had different plans. We'd spent the entire afternoon arranging my room, and we probably had it three different ways until she finally liked it. Exasperated at one point, I'd thrown myself onto the bed and looked over to her, "Is this really necessary? _You're _not the one who's going to be living here."

A smile crossed her lips as she looked down at me, "Well, I'm assuming I'll be spending a lot of time here, and so it has to look nice."

I had nothing to say to that, and finished the rest of the afternoon without another complaint.

When we were done, I'd walked her back to her building. It was a nice walk, and we did take the long way, but it wasn't the expedition I had hoped for. We had stopped just outside of it; something about the night and the clear sky that had stopped us from moving. Well, for me it was more the girl who stopped me; I wouldn't leave her side if I didn't have to.

The next thing she did was slip her arm through mine, something that still threw me off. I knew she meant nothing by it; it wasn't like she hadn't done this before. I just wished that she knew what it did to me and then still continued to do it. Heaven forbid that I ever scare her off.

"Exploring tomorrow?" I asked, hopefully.

"Sounds like a good idea. We should get familiar with the place." It was hard to hide my pleasure at the answer; I was practically beaming. But she wasn't looking at me, which was probably a good thing.

I heard her sigh, and I knew she had something on her mind. I would say nothing on the subject though, for I knew she would speak when she had to.

"I'm glad you're here with me, Takeru. I'm not sure I could do this by myself."

My good mood had not worn off. "You say that now, but I'm sure you would have lived. Me, on the other hand…"

She shifted so that I could see that she was rolling her eyes. My only response was a quiet laugh.

A few more moments had passed, and I knew I should probably let her go. My reluctance was not difficult to perceive, and I was glad to know that she didn't seem all that keen on leaving me, either. It was moments like this that gave me hope; that told me that maybe my waiting wasn't all for nothing. And maybe, even, that it was going to come to and end soon. Those were dangerous thoughts, I knew, and I would have to be careful. University was a whole new ball game.

I decided that I would break the moment, because I wasn't sure how I would take it if she did. Gently I slipped my arm back out from hers, and she was forced to move her head from its spot on my shoulder.

"I'll meet you here at ten?" She was a morning person but I wasn't. I figured that ten was a fairly good compromise.

I watched a smirk tug at the corners of her lips, "You gonna be awake enough?"

I felt my expression working to match her own, "I might need a little help."

I knew that if I wasn't here at the precise moment, she would find her way to my dorm and my room, where I would end up with a more brutal wake-up call than if I simply had got up by my own power. The times that she had done that to me were innumerable, each of them tainted by various forms of torture…no, that wasn't how I wanted to start out my university life.

Reaching out I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear, and I noticed the light blush that dusted her cheeks. That made me happy, and it gave me a little more courage to do something that maybe I shouldn't have. But it was getting so difficult not to; especially when she tempted me like this. If only she knew how irresistible she was…and I hoped that no other boy would ever find that out. I would be a fool to think that they wouldn't, though. Here, in a place where no one knew me or of our relationship, I would have to assert myself again as the one who belonged at her side. In high school it had just been accepted; here things were different. But I was planning on keeping things the way they had been.

Since I was taller I had to lean down, but I placed a light kiss on her forehead. I allowed it to linger perhaps longer than was necessary, but it was difficult not to.

"'Night, Kari." I said, barely able to meet her gaze. Quickly I turned, both because I was afraid of the expression that I might see on her face, and because I did not want her to see the scarlet colour of my own. I thought I heard a feeble 'goodnight' as I retreated, but I couldn't be sure.

I knew that, in the morning, she would act as if it hadn't even happened. That was fine with me. As long as she knew that my feelings were still the same, that I was still waiting, things would be fine. I didn't care how long I had to wait, or what I had to endure because of my choice.

If only I knew what was coming to me.

~*~

Calmer of the Storm: Yep, definitely a record. And I'm going to start the next chapter soon as well! No more procrastinating for me!!!

So! Tell me what you thought! Reviews are great…really….xD

**Next Chapter**: University life!

He smiled at me, holding his umbrella over my head. "May I offer you my umbrella?" His green eyes were captivating, and all I could do was nod.


	3. The Days Ahead

_Carried away by stars in the sky_

_Carried away by dreams_

_Carried away by love, you and I_

_We're not the kind inclined to get carried away_

**Chapter Three: The Days Ahead**

~*~

I was close to surviving my first semester of university. It was tough, but it wasn't the work that I was dealing with. It was the changes. I'd never lived away from home before. I didn't have my over-protective older brother to watch every move I made. I didn't have Miyako pulling out every little detail of my romantic life (or lack thereof) and I didn't even have Davis to annoy me on a regular basis. The only person I had was Takeru, which had its ups and downs.

Right about now, I would say that that friendship is in one of its 'down' stages. I don't know why, but I've found myself pulling away from him. It isn't anything he's done; he's remained forever constant and forever the rock that I probably need in my life right now. But lately he's been pressing again…pressing for something more. I just don't know how to deal with it. I had thought that maybe he would get over me and see me as the best friend that he should. College girls, from what I heard, were a little more outgoing. People had stayed away from him mostly because of him never being far from my side. That was different now; there were actually days that passed where I wouldn't even see him. But he stuck by me firm and true. I don't really know why that bothered me.

Two days ago he told me he loved me again. It wasn't a profound moment, just something in passing. The tone of his voice downplayed it as commonplace; as if he was merely joking about it. Had I not been looking at him, perhaps I would have been able to pass it off as that. But I'd seen the sincerity in his blue eyes, and I knew that it was not just a joke for him. None of his actions were.

I suppose it didn't help that later that day he'd kissed me…and I mean, _really_ kissed me. He'd kissed my forehead or my cheek before, and once on the hand at prom. This was the first time that he'd dared do anything further. I don't know what came over us, but we had apparently been caught up in the moment. The moon was full and the air was clear; there wasn't a soul around. It was just so natural. We'd been carried away, just like he promised we never would be.

I guess what scared me off the most was the fact that I'm pretty sure I actually _liked _it. He was my best friend…how could I have _liked _it? I wasn't supposed to! So I ran. The kiss had gone on longer than either of us had anticipated, and I knew I had left him crushed. It was even worse than when I had rejected him the first time. I knew that because he hadn't called me to do something, for I knew he'd never address the situation head-on. And then the basketball team had an away game, so he was gone from this morning to tomorrow night.

So I guess it's why I find myself, sitting alone on a bench on campus, the rain pelting down around me. There wasn't a soul out here besides myself, and why would there be? It was pouring cats and dogs. My clothes were soaked and my shoes squished when I walked. It hadn't been raining when I started; I had decided that I'd just needed to go for a walk, and had neglected to check what the weather might be doing. I hadn't been out here long when it started, and everyone else dove for cover. I, on the other hand, remained out here. I was confused, and I didn't want to go to a place that I associated with him, even if only remotely. He'd been in my room a few times; my roommate had thought we were dating. I'm pretty sure that, even after refuting that belief, she still thinks that. While in my room he would take his place at the head of my bed, reading some text books while I did photo edits for my elective this semester. It was just something that came naturally to us. But I couldn't go to my room where I could so easily picture him sitting like that on my bed. My mind was scrambled enough as it was.

I did notice another person, though I didn't pay him too much attention. I did notice that he had shaggy black hair, and that he was dressed rather well. Though I only noticed this because he wasn't sopping wet; he was carrying a rather nondescript black umbrella over his head. Maybe I should have thought of that. But it was too late now.

I allowed my thoughts to drift again; to go to that dangerous place. Takeru…was Takeru. How could I see him as anything more than that? I still was not convinced that his feelings for me were anything more than what a best friend would feel; he just hadn't been around enough girls to make that decision yet. Well, he'd been around lots of girls; they seemed to flock to him wherever he went. But he'd never actually gotten close to anyone outside of our tight-knit circle of friends. I was just waiting for him to see that his eyes were jaded, clouded by the fact that I was the closest girl to him. Eventually he would see…he would find someone else.

And for some reason, that thought caused me a little pain. For as long as I could remember, it had always been the two of us. We knew each other's deepest dreams and darkest secrets. We shared a part of our lives together that no one else would be able to even touch. Was I really so ready and eager to throw that away? No, I just wanted something different. I wanted _change_. Change was good, right?

I guess I never realised that change could come so quickly, and in such an unsuspecting form.

Suddenly the rain around me stopped, though I could still hear it. It straightened myself out a little on my spot on the bench; it didn't make any sense. I was not under any trees, and there was no logical explanation for why the rain would have stopped in my little corner of the world and no where else. It hit me, though, a few seconds later. I was aware of something in my peripherals; something in my landscape had changed. Slightly startled I looked up, and realised that I was staring straight into the face of the man whom I had so casually skipped over a few minutes ago.

He smiled at me, holding his umbrella over my head. "May I offer you my umbrella?" His green eyes were captivating, and all I could do was nod.

~*~

His name was Shinji. He was a business student who had come to the school two years ahead of me. I don't know what struck me so much about him, but there was just something that had me hanging on his every word. He was sweet and gentlemanly, and there was just something in the way he treated me; like I was the most important thing in the world to him. He came from a rich family, though he never seemed to flaunt it. But I guess he also wasn't afraid of that wealth; I never saw him dressed in anything more casual than a polo shirt and designer jeans. I guess everyone has their indulgences.

It was strange…telling Takeru that we were dating was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I don't know why it made me so nervous, but it did. I could see the look in his eyes as I told him; the cerulean shade darkened just slightly and they lost their shine. I felt as though I'd had the wind knocked out of me when I saw that, though I knew that he felt worse. That plagued me for the entire week that he didn't talk to me. I didn't bother calling him, because I knew that he needed his space. I bothered me that it pained me so much…why should I be so worried? Shinji was everything I could ever want, and more. He had a promising future ahead of him, what girl wouldn't want that? And he was completely devoted to me. His past girlfriends had been few, and from what he told me about them I could think of nothing that alarmed me.

When Takeru did start talking to me again, it was then that I finally noticed a change. He was distancing himself from me; more than I ever thought he would. I didn't understand it; didn't he know that he was still my best friend? He would always hold a special place in my heart, and I would always need him in my life.

And then, after maybe a few months, things started to get better. I still had the sense that something was off about our relationship, but it wasn't so wide a chasm as before. I was grateful for this, at least, confident that as time wore on we could fully repair the friendship that had once taken place between us.

That is, until one day in the middle of February during our second year of school.

Shinji and I had been dating for over a year, and he had taken a trip out of town. I had been getting the feeling that he was getting slightly jealous of my relationship with Takeru. I wasn't sure why, though, as I had assured him time and time again that things were not like that between us. The tension between the two of them was tangible whenever they were together, and it made me a little nervous. Why couldn't they just be friends? The way things were going, Shinji and I were going to be together for a while. And if that was the case, then he and Takeru would just have to get along, because I wasn't letting go of him anytime soon, either.

Takeru and I were on a walk together, having just had lunch at one of the local places in the nearby market. It was a tradition we had started in the second month of school, where we had already tired of the cafeteria food. I hadn't met Shinji at that point, but even when I had I saw no reason to discontinue the outings. Once a week, we tried, to get out to do this.

"We haven't done this in a while", came his comment after lunch.

I felt a little guilty, realising that it was true. Last month had been the last time we'd spent any real time together, which was not what I had originally planned for. "I know. I'm sorry, Takeru, I know I haven't been a very good friend, as of late."

I heard him sigh beside me, and I knew he was conflicted. With what, I had no idea. Just that he was. Something told me I didn't really want to find out; that it would be something that would break us apart again. I didn't like it when we were apart, for it always felt like something was missing from my life.

A smile spread across his lips, but it wasn't the smile that I loved. It was the smile of a cynic; a look I never liked to see on his face. He was the Child of Hope; it didn't suit him very well at all. I was about to make a joke about it, to try and lighten the mood, but he continued.

"Are you happy, Hikari?"

His question was so out-of-the-blue that I stopped. I couldn't _believe_ what I was hearing. Someone listening in on our conversation might have been confused; the question seemed innocent enough, if not a little strange. I, however, knew exactly what he was referring to. Was I happy? Of course I was happy! I liked Shinji very much, and lately we had been talking long-term. With Takeru at my side as well, how could I not be?

"Yes." I answered curtly. My tone was biting, and it told him that I would like him to drop the subject.

The smile only grew more cynical, and I watched him shove his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Really? I mean, because that guy-"

"Shinji"

"…yes, Shinji, is everything you said you never wanted."

Now I _really_ couldn't believe what he was saying. Takeru had no right to tell me what I did and did not want. We were best friends, yes, but we hadn't been spending a lot of time together. Every time he saw my boyfriend he either got sullen or smug, depending on how Shinji was acting. Their juvenile behaviour irritated me to no end, and I'd already had a talk with Shinji about it. Did I really have to go through the same thing with Takeru, the boy who was supposed to know me inside and out?

My jaw was clenched and I knew he could see the defiance in my eyes. I started at him a moment like this, hoping that my ire would sink in. What registered, though, was the dull look in his eyes. Through the months that I had been with Shinji, Takeru had remained single. Why, I had no idea, because the girls had started coming to _me_ to ask what TK did and didn't like. Somewhere in the back of my mind I recalled a promise that he had made a month before graduation, but I instantly shoved it back. I was much too angry with him to muster up any pity for him now.

"Since when do you decide what I do and do not want?" My words were biting, clearly warning him to stay away. By the look on his face, however, I knew he wouldn't.

He nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders, kicking at the ground as if this were a simple and casual conversation. "I dunno, just a conversation we had, once. You said that you wanted a simple guy, one you could feel at home with. And you said that you would _never_ end up with a businessman, because they were never at home. There was no need for him to be rich, he just needed to love you." I saw a light smile spread across his lips, but it still wasn't the one I wanted to see. It told me that his next words would not be ones I would enjoy hearing. "'Rich people are stuffy and boring.'" His gaze lifted to the sky, that infernal smirk still on his face.

I suddenly recalled the conversation quite clearly, though I was not at all impressed that he had brought it back up. Quoting me, of course, hadn't made me want to grant him any pity points.

"People change, Takeru."

I saw him roll his eyes, then look at me pointedly. "Yes, I can see that."

I was absolutely fuming now. How _dare_ he? "Oh? You think I've changed? Because you're not the same person you were once, Takeru. What is your problem with him anyways? I know that's what this is all about. You don't like him."

He had stopped fidgeting, and was looking at me squarely now. "No, I don't."

I hadn't expected such a blunt response, and it threw me off guard a little. My anger waned for a moment, but my eyes narrowed at him. "And why would that be?"

"What day is it, Hikari?"

He was avoiding my question. "The fourteenth."

"Of what?"

Did he think I was an idiot? I _knew_ what today was. I knew that it was a day to be spent with your lover. I was supposed to give him chocolates. I had given some to Takeru earlier, which I was now regretting.

"I'm not stupid, Takeru."

"Well, then where is he? Because I don't see him. In fact, I haven't seen him in a few days. Oh, wait, that business trip of his? The one he didn't _have_ to go on? The one that, if anything, was more beneficial to miss than to go on, for a number of reasons? And what about those friends that he talks about, the ones you've never met? I'm sure he's having a blast with them right now."

I was so angry with him I couldn't even speak. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and I didn't know what to do about it. Takeru was being a jerk, and I was closer to hating him right now than I had ever been before. Never had our friendship reached such a low point, though we'd been though our rough spots. We always got through them. Why couldn't he just be happy that I was happy? Did he have to ruin it all, just because he couldn't get what he wanted?

So desperately did I want to throw these accusations at him, but I couldn't. Something was holding me back; that little, small voice of doubt in the back of my mind. Because, somewhere, I felt like he was _right_. I had wanted a simple life. It had never involved Takeru, at least, not in that capacity, but it had always been simple. Shinji was older, and clearly part of a world that was much more refined and complicated than the one I had known. Often he went to the parties of high class citizens; the kind where every event was formal and one was expected to know how to speak and move the right way. But that was why he hadn't brought me into that world; he knew I wasn't ready. I hadn't even approached the subject of the Digital World with him, and for some reason that had never bothered me before, I hadn't even considered it.

"Are you in love with him?"

That was the last straw, and the tears spilled over. I could see the conflict raging on his face; he felt bad for what he was doing and wanted to comfort me desperately, but he also knew that he couldn't. Why it would cause such a conflict inside of him, I didn't think I would ever know.

"_Yes_", I said, though I knew it was a lie. I loved him, yes, but I wasn't _in_ love with him. Not yet. That was coming. I didn't know what love was, but I knew it wasn't something that happened quickly. I wasn't some fairytale princess that could be swept off of her feet. Shinji was not my prince, but an honest worker who would earn my love, and for whom my love would grow as the days went on. I didn't know why but my answer caused me more grief than it should have.

Takeru sighed again, running a hand through his golden hair. "Yeah, well, I hope things work out between you two." His tone was resigned, defeated. I saw something in his eyes that I never thought I'd see; or rather, I _didn't_ see something that I thought I'd always see. Hope. It wasn't there. That spark that I didn't realise until that moment that had fuelled me for so long was gone.

I didn't do anything about it, though, as I watched him walk away from me.

~*~

The next day, Shinji came back early to surprise me. I managed to pull off a happy look, though my act wouldn't have fooled anyone. That tugged on my heartstrings a little, because he had seemed to buy it. I told myself that he was just giving me my space. He had come over with a bouquet of flowers and the promise of making me dinner. I loved it when he cooked; it was quite good at it despite the high status that he held. A secret passion of his, he'd told me once.

When he'd left, I was feeling so down and out of it that I needed to vent. And so I sent an e-mail to Miyako, telling her of everything that had transpired. I had been sending her e-mails regularly, though they hadn't held much substance. She knew of my relationship with Shinji, of course, but she didn't like it. When I told her that she didn't know him and that she had created an unrealistic image of Takeru and I together in her brain, and therefore could not stand as judge, she had dropped the subject and never broached it again.

I told her of my conversation with Takeru, and how I'd felt. I left out the part about thinking him right, because I knew that that would be the only part of the e-mail she actually absorbed, and I didn't want to go there. I then went on a rant about what Shinji had done for me, and how he would make a better boyfriend than Takeru ever would. On top of bringing me flowers and making me dinner he had suggested we watch my favourite movie, _Pride and Prejudice_. It was a 'sappy romance', in Takeru's terms, and he vehemently refused to watch it every time I suggested it. Of course, our arguments had always ended up with me winning, but that wasn't the point. Shinji had also bought tickets for he and I to go see the ballet that was in town. I had loved dance as a child and I still loved it now, and I really wished I could continue it. Takeru would never be caught dead in such a production, for they were 'boring and hard to understand'. Well, it wasn't my fault he wasn't cultured enough to follow it. I may have lied to Takeru in saying that I loved Shinji, but soon enough it would be true.

I was too angry to think about the consequences; that Takeru might actually never be the same to me again. I never stopped to consider that he might pull himself away from me completely. Us being together was just so natural, and so it didn't even occur to me. Why wouldn't he be a part of my life? He'd just always been there. I couldn't imagine anything less.

The next morning I went to my laptop to check if I'd gotten a reply. Unsurprisingly I had, though I was rather shocked at the contents. What I read was much, much shorter than anything she had ever sent me, especially given the contents of the e-mail I had sent her. I had to read over it a few times, thinking that it was either a joke or I was reading it wrong. It read:

_Sounds like you're in love with him. Takeru, I mean._

I slammed the computer shut and stomped off to the shower. I didn't need to deal with this right now.

~*~

Calmer of the Storm: So yeah! There's the third chapter! Only two more to go!!! Which I have already written, by the way :) So tell me what you think! Reviews always make an author happy xD

**Next chapter:**

I promised that I would wait for her. I promised that I would be a part of her life forever. I'm sorry, Hikari, but it looks like I'm going to have to break that promise, even if only for a little while.


	4. Just When I'd Given up Hope

_There will be talk if under the moonlight_

_We are the ones talking not dancing_

_Privacy's not allowed_

_Smarter to follow the crowd_

_Carried away by love _

**Chapter Four: Just When I'd given up Hope**

~*~

I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have kissed her. I can't say what came over me that day. It was a moment of stupidity, of insanity…a severe lapse of judgment. It was just that everything had been so _perfect_. The way the moon hit her auburn eyes, the slight flush of red on her normally pale cheeks…it drove me to do something I had never imagined myself actually having the guts to do. And as I watched her retreating form, I was reminded of exactly _why_ I'd never gathered the nerve. Because I knew what such actions would do to her…to us. I knew she wasn't ready; that her feelings hadn't changed for me. I knew that it would drive us farther apart than we've ever been before.

The only thing that kept me going after that was the feeling that had spread through my body at the contact. Never had I dreamed it to be like that…I'd never kissed a girl before. I remember, as a little boy, telling my older brother that Kari was going to be the first girl I was going to kiss, and that the first girl I kissed was going to be the one I married. Matt had laughed at my eight-year-old self, but it was a resolution that I've never grown out of. Of course, as I watched her disappear around the corner of a nearby building, I knew my chances had gone from slim to none. But I couldn't help that nagging feeling; that feeling that told me not to lose all hope just yet. My optimistic-self had taken quite a blow, to be sure, but she had not immediately pushed me away. In fact, if I remember correctly, she had embraced me. Returned the kiss. Why couldn't she just let her heart follow where her body was so clearly leading her?

Fortunately, circumstance had made for an opportunity for some space. I knew she needed it, and I definitely needed it to. Did I go back and act like nothing happened, or do I vehemently apologize for my foolish actions? Neither would be easy, it was just a matter of figuring out which would have more consequences. At this point in my friendship with Hikari, I wasn't so sure anymore.

I had decided, after a few days away and a lot of basketball, that I would go with my first option. I decided that I didn't want her to think that I was in any way indifferent, and I didn't feel I should apologise for something that I did not entirely see as wrong. If I could skim over it, as we would both understand that it wasn't something to be easily forgotten, maybe I could get her to see that I was not in fact sorry, but neither was I going to expect anything from her. I didn't want to scare her off.

Of course, this was easier said than done. It was two days after my return to the city that I actually gathered the nerve to call her, and she had told me that she'd had other plans. Her explanation were vague and incomplete, leading me to believe that she was either avoiding me or she was hiding something that she didn't want me specifically to know. We may have drifted apart in these passed few months, but I still knew her better than she knew herself.

At least, that was what I kept telling myself. Things had gotten okay between us, but I knew she was still hiding something. A month after the initial incident, it was time for our weekly trip to the market. She'd skipped out every time before this, and I knew I had only myself to blame. I was happy, though, for it seemed things would finally be getting on track.

So imagine my surprise when I saw not one but _two _people waiting for me at our usual spot. The first was obviously Hikari; I could spot her familiar figure from a mile away. The second…the second made me nervous. He was tall and broad, and from this distance I could tell that he was the kind of boy that girls were naturally drawn to. Some had placed myself into that category, but I didn't believe them. The one girl I wanted to draw to me I managed to repel in every way possible when it came to anything close to being romantically involved. As the distance between us lessened I noticed that he seemed older than both she and I, and he certainly dressed himself well. But it was not any of these things that had struck me the hardest. It was the fact that they were holding hands. In that instant I felt my heart drop, because I suddenly put the pieces together. It would no longer just be 'Takeru and Hikari', it would be 'Takeru and Hikari and her boyfriend'. My 'best friend' status had suddenly dropped to 'third wheel'. Not that I'd never been around dating couples before; it was just that these relationships never involved the girl that I was hopelessly in love with.

Shinji. That was his name, though I pretended I never remembered it. I was vaguely reminded of a time when we were younger, when a certain Daisuke refused to put two simple letters together to form my own name. But I would not put myself in the same category. This was different; it wasn't just some puppy love. At first he seemed like a decent enough guy; despite being older and rich, he was actually quite nice. But then it just got to be too much for me. He was _too_ nice. Too perfect. The man was the personification of politeness, always addressing those around him in a smooth and cordial manner. I don't know why this bothered me so much, until I spent a little more time around him. Fortunately he wasn't the jealous type, or at the very least, he trusted Hikari to no end. I had no doubts that she'd told him everything about me and how I felt about her. Kudos to the man for trying not to bar her from seeing me, given that it was still quite plain that I would do anything for her. As time in their relationship progressed, however, I did begin to sense a little tension. And I certainly didn't mind it; the thought that I could be even the slightest threat gave me a strange though small amount of satisfaction.

It was just that he had no…passion. In everything he did, he did it the same. I never saw his face light up at the sight of his girlfriend, nor did I hear him speak about her with a certain ardour that I felt he should have. I never saw a look in his eyes that was meant only for her. Of course, _I_ wasn't the one on the inside of the relationship. Maybe he was different with her alone; maybe he was quite jealous, but was keeping a good show on for me. Or maybe _I_ was the jealous one, and I was too blind to see it. But it just bothered me that everything he did, everything he said, seemed to come from a script.

So, one day when I thought I would be driven mad, I confronted her about it. She wasn't thrilled with me by any stretch of the word, though I had gone into it knowing that. My hope of ever being with her was slowly fading, and it was held down by mere threads at the moment. I had to try; I had to see. She wasn't happy, but neither was she unhappy. Their relationship wasn't bad, from what I could see, but I knew she deserved better. She deserved a man that would worship the very ground she walked on…a man that would lay down his life for her. I don't know how I did, but I knew that Shinji was not that man.

Hikari was ever-stubborn in her responses. I almost had to hide a smile; she always came across as sweet and innocent. As a child she'd been much more willing, a people-pleaser. Thankfully she had begun to grow out of that during the last few years of elementary school. Now her tenacity could rival that of her older brother, in some areas, though I would never tell her that. I was on her bad side enough right now as it was.

But I needed to know. I needed to know if she loved him. My feelings for her had not grown any less; not in the slightest. If anything, they had grown. But I needed to give my heart that answer; I was tired of guessing. Not tired of waiting, but it just couldn't handle the uncertainty.

The answer she gave me definitely got rid of my uncertainty. The resounding '_yes_' cut to my core, shredding every last bit of hope that held my bleeding heart together. That was it, then. I couldn't stay with her; I had to be away. I had to let reality wash over me.

I wandered through campus for a bit, strangely ending up at the main door that led into my dorm. How I got here, I couldn't remember. In a daze I made it to my room, instantly recalling how she had been the one to set it up, as she was making a tradition out of. She'd done it in first year, and had done the same at the beginning of this one. Well, I knew she wouldn't be coming here anymore. In an effort to save what was left of me, I rearranged it. A hurricane may as well have come through, but I didn't care. At least it didn't have her signature all over it. It took me longer than I thought it would, as I realised when I noticed my clock glowing ten. It was dark outside, of course, though I had only just noticed. Somewhere along the line I had flipped the light on, but I have no recollection of doing that either. I was much to preoccupied with erasing whatever Hikari had left behind.

I flopped onto my bed, finally allowing everything to truly consume me, as the shock and the numbness wore off. I don't know what else I had expected from her. They had been dating over a year, and if there was one thing with Hikari, it was that she took relationships seriously. Perhaps I would come to accept it in time, but right now I needed to grieve. I realised what a fool I was, for allowing myself to think as I had. Ever the Child of Hope…but now this hope's light had faded. I had deluded myself into thinking that, somewhere deep down, she did actually love me. I should have believed her when she told me the first time; I should not have allowed myself to fall so deep. But I had, and now I was suffering for it.

I promised that I would wait for her. I promised that I would be a part of her life forever. I'm sorry, Hikari, but it looks like I'm going to have to break that promise, even if only for a little while.

~*~

I'd never been away from Hikari for so long before. I saw her occasionally, and I could see that expectant look on her face every time we crossed paths. But right now all I could do was smile and nod politely, as if she was a mere acquaintance. I knew she was confused about it; that she didn't understand. But I couldn't let her torture me for much longer. Not while my pain was still fresh. She, in all her innocence, would wish for things to be as they were. I don't know why, but I knew she wanted me…as her best friend. She missed me when I was gone, and I knew she enjoyed having me around. But I could no longer keep up the charade around her. Not when my hope was so badly faded. Maybe in a few years I would call her up. Maybe I would come over with my wife, and we would have lunch. Or maybe I would never get married; that wouldn't be fair to the woman who took my name as her own. Second place. That would be all she would ever be. A part of me said I was being silly; that I'd taken 'drama queen' to a new level. Maybe I had, but it certainly didn't feel like that in the midst of this dark valley.

I was a little surprised, though I suppose I shouldn't have been, when she called me up one day. What she wanted, I had no idea, but I knew it had to be something.

"Hello?" I answered, though I knew full well who it was. Usually I answered differently when she called, in a way that indicated I knew she was the one who had called. Caller ID was a wonderful tool, of course.

"Hey, 'Keru…"

I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. She was using a name for me that she hadn't in a while. A few months ago it might have caused my heart to skip a beat and my stomach to flip, but right now it merely caused a cynical note to wash through me.

"What's up?" I was as casual as I could be.

"Um…not too much. You?"

"Just getting ready to go to lunch."

"Oh."

A silence followed. I could clearly picture the look on her face right now; she would be biting her lip and her face would be crimson red.

"Was there something you needed?" Needed, because she would never _want_ something from me. Not anymore.

"I…I was just…no. You have plans already."

I suppressed a sigh as I pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes tightly. She still had that power over me.

Finally, I did sigh. "No, I don't have any plans."

"W-well, if you weren't busy, Shinji…" she stopped and I wasn't sure why, but anything that included his name wasn't exactly something I wanted to be doing.

"Shinji is…he's out of town for a bit and I was just-"

"I'll meet you at the usual spot in five." I cut her off; there was no point in making her fully explain herself.

I wondered just how long he had been out of town. Evidently it was long enough to drive her to seek my company instead of waiting around for him. I probably should have just let her think I had plans. It would have been better for my still-aching heart. I knew what would happen the moment I saw her; it would be both a breath of fresh air and a fresh wound to my already tattered spirit. But I've been through so much with her that it was difficult to say no. I'd always been there for her, and though her boyfriend being out of town was hardly anything to save her from I couldn't help myself. Since we were eight years old I had protected her. Why should I stop now? Maybe I was a masochist. Maybe I needed therapy.

We met at that spot again; I knew she would know the place. Though we hadn't met here in a long while, it didn't change. That was one of the things about our friendship; just like our meeting spot, it didn't change. I almost laughed at the irony. I should have seen that, when I had so desperately wanted for something to shift.

She greeted me with a smile, a smile that, despite my somewhat gloomy state these days, lifted my spirits ever so slightly. I couldn't let her see my misery; truth be told I was wallowing in it. I was not man enough to pick myself up and move on. Did anyone blame me? I loved this girl…I still did. I had loved her for a very long time.

"Hey."

I simply nodded in greeting, my hands stuffed into my pockets.

"How about the market?" She was trying to fall back into our formerly regular pattern, but she was failing worse than I thought she would. I don't know why I made her so nervous these days.

"Sounds good to me."

Our conversation was simple and trivial. She asked me how I was doing, and after a prompt 'fine' I reciprocated the question, to which she all but repeated my answer. Neither of us dared touch the subject of her boyfriend, thought I was rather grateful for that at the moment. I didn't want to talk about him when we were trying to do things like we used to.

We touched on the weather, and on the difficulty level and workload of our respective classes. We didn't have any together this term, though the semester was almost over. In four weeks time, when exams were all finished, we would return home. I suspected that she had plans with Shinji again; she'd brought him home last summer to meet everyone. Maybe this year she would go to his hometown, though I knew she had met his family already. I knew she wasn't comfortable there; it was a world that did not touch our own. Though she was not a stranger to travelling into different worlds, this was one she could not seem to penetrate. Everywhere else she had shone like the light she was…but there she was simply 'Shinji's girlfriend'. I knew this because she had once, before my confrontation, discussed it with me.

"So what are you doing for the summer?" she asked, and I knew I would have no choice but to ask the same of her, though I wasn't sure I actually wanted to know.

I shrugged, leaning back in my chair. Our lunch was finished; we were merely in conversation now. "The usual, I guess. I'll probably find a job…maybe down at the marina this year. Spend some more time out in the sun."

To this she only nodded, her gaze dropping to the plate in front of her where she began to pick at the uneaten crust of her sandwich. In that instant I knew that something was bothering her. Whether I had the right to ask or not I didn't know, but it suddenly dawned on me that it was probably the reason why she had called me up in the first place. I felt my bleeding heart sputter back to life momentarily in my chest for a moment, as if suddenly remembering how it was supposed to work. I knew that this new hope would be dangerous, but I couldn't help it. Her answer could break me again. Or perhaps it would instil in me a stronger hope than I'd been feeling as of late, which of course had the potential of being crushed again. After this conversation I knew that I would need another break from her presence, if she was going to do this to me every time.

"You?" I finally prompted, uncertain if I should broach the subject, though she had been the one to initiate it.

I watched as she ran her tongue over her teeth, something she did when she was unsure of what to say or how to begin. "I…I don't know." She finally said.

At that point I wasn't so sure that she had actually wanted me to ask her. Before I could read her like a book; now it seemed that she was written in a foreign language, one that I was once fluent in but was losing my grasp on.

"Oh." Was all I finally said.

An awkward silence fell between us. I remained as I was, arms folded across my chest as I leaned into the chair. My gaze bore into her, which was probably the reason why she remained concentrated on pulling the remains of her meal to shreds.

She bit her lip, then, and I imagined the resolution setting into her eyes. "I mean, I _did_ have plans with Shinji, but I'm not so sure anymore."

My heart jumped to life in that moment, more so than it had before, and it was life it had not had since that day a few months ago. I swallowed hard, pushing back the hope. The hope would crush me, I had learned. Hope was dangerous without light to fuel it.

I couldn't resist; I had to make light of this somehow. A small smirk touched my lips, "What, trouble in paradise?"

I watched as her own lips curled upwards, though I knew she was trying to fight it. My effect on her had not changed, it seemed.

She sighed, finally lifting her gaze to meet mine. "No, not really. It's just…I don't know anymore. He's just so…_busy _all the time. I know he's graduating this year and all, but he's talking about joining his father's business. He's to inherit it someday, and he needs the training. He says that this summer will be his 'debut', which means parties and formals and galas…I don't know if I can handle all of that."

I couldn't help myself, "Wow, must be hard. I can't imagine having to go to _parties_ and wear nice clothes. And heaven forbid you eat any of the free food."

She wanted to roll her eyes at me, I could tell, but she refrained. Obviously I knew there was more to that life than what I had poked fun at, and I also knew she would know this.

"It's just…so much is expected from me. I don't know…I don't know if I can do it. Shinji is confident I can, he says he wouldn't be dating me if I couldn't. He says that I would…" she trailed off, and I pursed my lips and dropped my gaze, because I knew where this was going.

She continued, her voice just barely above a whisper now, "He says that I would make a good wife in that sort of setting…the kind the CEO of a major corporation needs."

Seriously. Was this that guy's idea of 'romantic things to say to your girlfriend'? Really I found the whole thing ridiculous. And knowing who she was, and knowing who her friends were, I knew she would have heard it before. I suspected that Miyako had already been contacted, and that plan had backfired. I'd also been in contact with the girl, though less frequently as Hikari, but a while ago she'd informed me that our mutual friend did not give out any information on her boyfriend, and thus I was the one designated to do it. I wondered if Hikari had finally relented and told Miyako of this. I could only imagine the girl's response…it was the kind I knew would really have liked to have given. It was one thing that I admired about Miyako; she was able to speak her mind so clearly. Her sometimes lack of discretion as to when to divulge such thoughts got her into more trouble than it got her out of, but still a trait to be admired nonetheless.

I allowed the silence to linger a few moments, chewing over this information. I knew it wouldn't be appropriate to laugh in this instant. Hikari had come to me for counsel, it seemed, and I would do my best to give it to her.

Finally I leaned forward a little, resting my hands in my lap. "Do _you_ think that you would make a good wife for a CEO?"

She was silent again, her gaze once more dropping to her place. "I don't know. The thought of it…it scares me half to death."

I could see that our conversation was not finished, but I also knew that it could be going to a place more private than either of us wanted the outside world to experience. I flagged the waiter down and asked for the bill, quickly silencing any ideas of her paying for it. I took care of things quickly, then went to meet her at the front of the small restaurant.

We walked in silence until we reached a more secluded place. It was still out in the open, there were jus fewer people. In a park near the market and still off campus we placed ourselves beneath the shade of a sakura tree. It was a shame that they were not in season, but the blooms had faded weeks ago.

"Does he know anything about the Digital World?" I finally asked. I didn't see why he wouldn't, seeing as she had professed to loving him.

I heard a quiet chuckle from her, and I looked over to see her shaking her head. Leaning her head against the trunk of the tree, she turned to me. "Nope."

Quite frankly, I was shocked. I supposed it wasn't such a difficult thing to hide anymore, as our job there was complete. No longer did we have to disappear for long periods of time, often under the guise of a club meeting or a class trip. We missed our otherworld friends, though we did get to see them from time to time. It was difficult to do so while we were all dispersed across the country, but when we were all together and at home we always tried to pay them a visit. Had Hikari intended on giving that up?

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me why not?" A question that could either be answered or left rhetorical.

She sighed. "I don't know, to be honest. It just…hasn't come up. I mean, it's not like I can say 'hey, I can travel to another world through a computer screen, and I have these really cool friends there too', you know?"

I knew there was more to it than that, "And you're afraid he'll think you're stupid, or that he'll be afraid."

She nodded slowly.

"Well, all I can say is that, if he really loves you, it shouldn't matter to him." The thought of that caused a fresh tear in my mending heart.

She didn't answer again, and I was afraid to prompt for anything further. But I knew that she was mulling something over in her mind, I just didn't know if it was a good thing or bad thing. All I did know was that it was starting to churn that hope inside of me again, and I could not suppress it.

"Takeru…" she said, turning to face me. We stared at each other for a moment, and I could feel the magnetic pull that she had. That pull that I had so foolishly succumbed to all those months ago…and I wasn't going to let it take me now. I subtly turned my face away, for I was afraid that my self-control would fade faster than I could realise what was happening.

Sighing, she shook her head again, breaking us both out of the trance. "Never mind, it's nothing."

I couldn't just leave her like that though; I had to do something. Reaching out I grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. It was purely a friendship gesture, at least, that was how I (mostly) hoped she would take it. "I'm here, you know, if you ever need to talk about anything."

She nodded, and though my words were simple I knew they had reached her. It was not a trivial promise between people, but something that ran deeper; a promise between best friends. I was glad to know that I had not completely lost my status in her heart.

I took the initiative, then, to end our time together. I didn't want her feeling uncomfortable, and I certainly didn't want to drive her away from me. In instantly regretted all those times I had snubbed her as I walked by. But it was too late to apologise for them now. Things had been mended between us, I figured, and there was no use trying to push my luck.

As I lay in my bed that night, my room still looking like a disaster zone, my mind began to dangerously go over things that I probably should not have. I could feel that hope welling up within me again. Hikari had come back…not as completely as I would have liked, but she was back. She was having doubts in her relationship, and I couldn't help but believe that I was actually going to have a chance. If I could just prove myself better…more worthy…

No. I really shouldn't think like that. I knew that if I did, I would be even more crushed than I had before. It would be something that touched not only my heart, but it would extend down deeply into the recesses of my soul. I did not want a hurt that could not be healed; losing Hikari again, and I knew it would be fully the next time, was something I could not even fathom. As much as I had tried to push her away from me for my own good, I couldn't deny that I needed her. She was my air, my heartbeat, my light. No matter how desperately I wanted her to see this, I knew that she would have to come to the realisation on her own.

She had never been one to follow the crowd, which I think is part of the reason she had so strongly resisted me. But sometimes I wonder if it _was _just better. To let them carry you away…sweep you off your feet. The crowd wasn't always such a bad thing. That way people wouldn't talk. You wouldn't have to change who you were. If I could sweep her away with me…with that crowd…maybe she would see that. I loved Hikari for who she was and who she wanted to be. She had dreams…dreams that would be crushed if she and Shinji were ever to tie the knot. Money wasn't everything, despite what some would believe. But maybe…maybe this time I could do it. Maybe I could get her to follow along in my simple and unrefined dance, the dance I had been trying to lead her on all this time. The dance of the common folk was easier than that of a prince. Maybe, with time, she would grow tired of his dance. Maybe the princess would find it in her to do something wild and reckless within the world of royalty. Maybe she would become normal. It was the only thing I could hope for.

~*~

Calmer of the Storm: Almost there! One more chapter! I really wish I could have extended this story…I'm really enjoying it, haha. It's one that I can actually read over. Which means I'm not totally embarrassed about it, lol. But I just couldn't see it being any longer than that, with the style of writing that I've managed to put into this.

Well, the (sort of) good news is…know what I did last night? I wrote a prologue. To another story. Yep, I'm an idiot. Lol. I'll probably end up posting it when this thing is over with. Which means I'm not in 'retirement' as much as I thought I was. Oh well. I guess I just can't keep from writing for too long xD

**Next chapter: **The end!

"Sorry you don't get your prince", he said, though I knew he wasn't sorry at all.


	5. Forever in my Life

_Look at the lovers_

_Aren't they a picture_

_Dancing so fine under the moonlight_

_Almost as in a trance_

_Under the spell of the Dance_

_Carried away by love_

**Chapter Five: Forever in my Life**

~*~

I wasn't sure what had happened to me. It was like a light had been turned on and suddenly I was seeing things differently for the first time. Except that, the light was turned on in a pool of muddy water, which I was currently swimming in. Where before I had simply been content in darkness, I now knew that there was something…not quite right. It was a light that filtered through the mud in a way that I did not know or understand where it was coming from, or how I was going to get to it.

Since going to the Digital World, I had been given the title of the Child of Light. I had been attacked by many creatures, all of them from another world, because they sensed I had some sort of power. But they didn't know the truth; they didn't know I was weak. Without something to ward off the impending darkness, the shadow that touched everything my light could not, I was nothing. And so that was why Takeru had been placed in my life. He was my hope; the very thing that kept me going. He could bring be back from unreachable places even when I knew I had wandered much too far. When I couldn't see, when despair gripped at me and held me in iron chains, he always came through, always broke them. And he always broke them with an ease that astonished me every time he did it.

So to see that hope faded from his eyes…I knew I had done something horrible. I knew that I had been the cause, though I so desperately tried to explain it other ways. School, lack of being around his family, his closest friends…but I knew deep down that it had only truly faded that day I had crushed him. I had rejected him before, but never so fully. Before, there had never been anyone else; no one to give him competition for my heart. Now there was. And now he was suffering because of it.

It didn't hit me, though, until that conversation I had with my boyfriend. Takeru had been avoiding me, or even sometimes just outright ignoring me. That had been far more painful than I ever could have imagined. Seeing his simple smile and the nod of his head as he walked by me; it was harder to endure than I ever could have imagined. But even then I didn't understand. Not until I realised that the plans I'd had for my summer were going to change.

We were at dinner, just over at his apartment. His roommates were out for the evening, and so we had seized the opportunity. He had cooked for me while I watched him; I don't know why, but it always fascinated me, watching people cook. Maybe it was because there was such a sufficient lack of ability within my own household that the experience was still new to me.

When he sat down across from me, I immediately knew that something was up. Nothing on his face indicated anything bad, just that something was chewing at him.

"Do you still have your heart set on me coming to your place again this summer?"

Uh oh. I knew where this was going. I knew that he wanted me to spend some time with his family, but I wasn't sure I could. It was just so difficult spending time with them. I didn't belong in that world. It was one that people like me weren't supposed to touch, and yet I had somehow found myself sucked right into it.

"Why?"

He popped a thoughtful bite into his mouth. After swallowing, he looked at me again. "Well, I've been talking to my father, and he thinks that this would be a good summer for me to start in the business, since I'm graduating."

"Right away? I thought you were going to take a little bit of time off first." That had been the original plan, hence why he would have been able to come to my home for the summer.

"He thinks that it would be too late. The summer is the best time for business, and therefore the best time for me to make my debut."

"Debut?"

He smiled at me in that way he'd recently started doing; that look a parent gave their child when they didn't understand something, and though they would explain it, they didn't expect them to. "My 'coming out', of sorts, in society. It's big among our circles, especially with those who are like my father."

I knew what he was really saying: 'It's something that you won't understand'. I could hear the underlying tone of his voice, that which said 'you're from outside, this is too much for you to handle, so just smile and do as I say.' Of course, it was in the gentlest way possible. But I couldn't help but feel like he was looking down on me from time to time.

As much as I didn't like it, though, he was right. I didn't understand why everything had to be done so formally. I didn't understand why there was such a standard to live up to, and that one would be shunned if they didn't. Everyone was exactly the same, and they were fine with that. Because, in Shinji's world, to be different meant that things would go badly. I had grown up with a group of people who couldn't be more different from each other. To go to a place where everyone was the same…to become one of them…it suddenly wasn't sitting so well with me.

"Oh. Can I think about it?"

He nodded, and our conversation moved on.

As I got back to my room that night, something wasn't settling right within me. Usually I wasn't one to brood, and Shinji hadn't given me much reason to. Not like Takeru, of course. But when I thought about it, I realised that my pining over whatever Takeru would have inflicted on me was never quite as…confusing as this. Well, not that it wasn't as confusing, it just wasn't as…unpleasant. Why that was, I had no idea.

Shinji was going home for the weekend to deal with some family business. I knew at that point that, regardless of my answer, he would be spending the summer at home. So now I had to decide whether I wanted to go with him. I also knew that my decision to go or to not go would decide the fate of our relationship. That, when I really thought about it, was very frightening. I also knew that if I went, I would be going a whole four months without seeing my family, without seeing my friends…without seeing Takeru. I would be leaving behind my opportunity to visit my friends in the Digital World again. Maybe I would be leaving that part of me, which had been so instrumental in shaping who I had become, behind forever. I shivered at the thought.

So I concluded then that I needed to see Takeru. Always he had been my constant, and though I knew things had been difficult between us lately, which was at no fault of his own, I knew he would be there for me. But calling him up and inviting him out had been much harder than I had anticipated. I had made myself seem a complete idiot in the process, but I knew he wouldn't judge me for it.

Takeru was just what I needed. I knew he knew something was up with me, but he waited. I wanted him to ask, but he was too polite for that. So I had to prompt him. He would assume that I had plans with my boyfriend for the summer, but I wanted him to know that things were changing. We were growing up; we were changing. Shinji was even talking about _marriage_, something that scared me now more than it ever had. With Takeru things had been seamless and simple, with Shinji they were difficult. I always told myself that it was just because Takeru and I did not have the same kind of relationship that Shinji and I had.

When I had told him, he had cracked his jokes. Takeru knew when to be serious and when the mood needed lightening, a talent which I would never understand. It was difficult to feel awkward around him, which was probably why he had so many friends. On top of that he was quite attractive, something which I had never before denied. But all of these things were helping me now, and I couldn't have been more grateful to him for it.

There was a moment of tension, though, tension which I did not fully dislike. It was strange, because I knew I had felt it before. It was the same feeling from that time when he had kissed me. I didn't know why, but there was something about the sun that managed to sneak through the leaves of the tree we were under causing his golden hair to seem radiant in spots, and the way the shadows mixed the colours in his deep, blue eyes…

It was only when he turned his head slightly that I realised where my mind had been going. I also knew that he had realised it to, hence why he had turned away. I found that I was almost even disappointed. My heart was racing in a way that it had not for quite some time now, and maybe never even had with Shinji. I didn't want to think too much about that. When I called his name I had been intending to tell him that I was suddenly unsure of my feelings. That I had lied to him back when I told him I loved Shinji, but that brief moment had flustered me and my nerve was suddenly gone.

He then reached out and grabbed my hand, a simple gesture that had my breath hitched in my throat and my heart racing once more. I knew he meant it; I knew he would be there for me. I could also see that maybe, though I had trampled on him so many times, he still had some sort of feelings for me. That very thought had me thinking that night…maybe it wasn't worth it to throw that all away. Maybe, just maybe, he had been right about it the whole time.

~*~

I was standing outside of the door to Takeru's room, tears streaking down my face. I had run over here as fast as I could, gaining a few strange looks from people as I barrelled passed them. My knocking was frantic and probably louder and more frequent than was normal; it wasn't like it was a big room. He was either there or he wasn't. If he wasn't, I didn't know what I was going to do.

The door opened, revealing a wet-haired Takeru. I suddenly realised the reason for his not answering the door right away; he probably hadn't been fully clothed when I'd come banging on it. At first his lips were going to form a smile, but when he took in my state his lips set into a frown and a concern etched itself across his features.

"What happened, Kar?"

I tried to speak, but instead my hysteria became worse. I shook my head, unable to say anything. I put my hand over my mouth and nose, as if that would help stay my tears.

The next thing I was aware of was a gentle touch at my back, followed by the softest pressure. He was bringing me into his room where my theatrics wouldn't be on display for the general public to see. He sat me down on his bed and took his place beside me, gently rubbing my back in a soothing matter. No words were said; he just let me cry. I was in too much of a state to notice the change in his room; it was a mess. I would figure this out later, though, and I would feel guilty about it as I realised the reason for the disaster. Nothing was in the place I had put it.

When my tears began to subside, I knew he would be wanting some sort of explanation. I guessed what he had deducted from this, and I knew he was wrong.

"What's the matter?" He finally asked. He couldn't hide the worry from his tone.

I tried to speak, but I needed just a few more minutes.

"Did…did he break up with you?"

A few more tears fell, and I sucked in a deep breath. "N-no. I…I broke up with him."

I didn't have to look at Takeru to know that he would be shocked.

"W-why?"

I took in a few more breaths, trying to calm myself. It was working, for the most part, but I knew my face was red and I wasn't exactly the prettiest thing on earth at this point. "I just…" I didn't know what to say to him. Closing my eyes, I let out a deep sigh. "You were right, Takeru. You were right this whole time." I was whispering now.

He was confused. "Right about what?" His voice matched my own.

"Shinji he…he wasn't…isn't…what I need. Not what I want."

A silence fell, and I knew that Takeru was thinking this over. I didn't know what was going through his mind, and I couldn't guess because I was staring intently at my hands, which were now in my lap, and not at his face. I was not oblivious to the fact that his arm had remained around me, though his hold was loose. I was almost afraid to look up to him, for I was not sure I would like what I would find on his face. The other thing was that I wasn't sure what I actually wanted to see on his face. But I knew that something might scare me if I looked.

"What do you want, then?" His voice was tentative, barely audible now.

I shook my head slowly. "I don't know."

He squeezed me gently with the arm that was around me. It happened so naturally that I didn't have time to fight it, and something told me that I didn't even want to. I leaned against him, a wave of exhaustion suddenly watching over me. He was warm and comfortable, and most of all he was safe. I realised that that was something I never really felt around Shinji. His world was for those who showed themselves off; for people who wore many different masks. It was a world where emotion was a weakness, and people would take advantage of you at any sight of it. But Takeru wasn't like that. He was part of my world too, the world that I knew now more than ever that I belonged in.

I don't know how long I spent with him that day; time seemed to blur together. Neither of us said very much, but more was communicated between us than anything in the passed couple of months. I realised that I had been starving for his presence; that I had deprived myself of him. I decided that I wouldn't be doing that any longer. When I left I knew that there was something different between us. At least, something on my end had changed. He wasn't just my best friend any longer. What he was to me now, I didn't know, but I found myself becoming less and less afraid to find out.

~*~

Somehow, though I don't know exactly when, it dawned on me. I don't know where along the lines I had confused it with mere friendship, but I had. And in doing so I had almost ruined everything that was going to happen between us. All my life, people had been telling me I was going to end up with Takeru. I think I resisted it because I didn't want to be the same. I wanted to be something different. Sora, Mimi and Miyako were all dating boys within our Digidestind group of friends, and I didn't want to find myself confined to that space. And so I had closed myself off, refusing to even consider the man who knew me better and loved me more than anyone else in this world. I had once considered him to be jaded, blinded by the fact that I was the only female he had ever really gotten close to. But how I realised it was I who had the inability to see; I was the one who had the jaded vision. I had refused to see it, had willingly blinded myself and outright rejected the notion of us being like that whenever I could. As I look back on it now, however, I know that I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and pain.

But Takeru…Takeru was ever present. He was…_Takeru_. That had been my excuse for not loving him before, but it was the very reason I did now. He didn't fade; he didn't make me suffer for what I had done to him. He had every right, I knew, to make me run as I had to him. He had the right and reasons to grow tired of me, to believe that I was not worth the chase. But he hadn't stopped running after me. And then, when I had run too far ahead of him, he had simply waited.

I suppose we became an official couple, though I didn't always like using the term 'boyfriend' to describe him. The word seemed so earthly…so terminal. He was so much more to me than that. And I knew that I was more to him than just a simple girlfriend to be tossed aside when things got bad, but we would have to make do with the titles that society would give us. But, as I was learning more and more, as long as I simply got to stay with him, things would be okay.

It wasn't anything formal, but if I had to pinpoint it I would put it to the train ride home. Usually we had family to come here to the university to pick us up, but no one was able to coordinate it. Before I had been dreading it; I had even wondered if I was going to make Takeru ride the train alone. But now that we were able to do it together, it wasn't so bad.

While we were waiting in line to finalise everything, I felt him take my hand in his. He laced his fingers through mine, something he had done before, but this time it sent a tingle through my body that the action hadn't caused me to feel prior to this. I felt the blush spread across my cheeks, and he smiled at me.

"Sorry you don't get your prince", he said, though I knew he wasn't sorry at all.

I pursed my lips, considering something for a moment. "I never considered him my prince, you know. Simply an honest worker."

This seemed to surprise him, but I could tell that he was delighted.

"Oh, really? Does that mean that the spot is open? Because if it is, I think I know someone just right for the job…"

I rolled my eyes at him, a reaction that was not at all unfamiliar to either of us, but I couldn't help but smile. "Really? Because I believe that it is, in fact, open. Will he take this poor village girl, sweep her off her feet and ride off into the sunset?"

His smile grew and he shuffled closer to my side; the public around us wouldn't allow for anything further. "Village girl? I don't see a village girl around here. Just a princess."

I'm pretty sure that a few people around us gagged; I probably would have myself, if I was an onlooker to such a scene. I tried to brush his rather corny words off as just that; but the blush on my face had deepened and I couldn't hide the light in my eyes at the words.

It was inevitable, the 'I told you so's and the 'it's about time's that we received when we got home. No one had been officially told anything; the two of us thought that it might be more fun to spring it on them. Between the emotional low of breaking up with Shinji, the stress of exams and working things would with Takeru, I hadn't had the time to actually tell anybody anything. As far as they knew, I was still with Shinji. So when I stepped off the train holding Takeru's hand…well, we certainly got the reaction we were going for.

~*~

That summer with Takeru was one of the best of my life. The summer before, as I look back on it, had been awkward and forced. With Shinji around we couldn't do things as normal. I couldn't exactly leave him to spend time with my old friends, as I was the reason he had come in the first place. He had taken to the 'lower society' life quite well, living in Tai's old room for the duration of the stay. But things were definitely better with Takeru. Above everything they were easier. The transition from friends to lovers had been quite smooth, so smooth that I now wondered why I had been so afraid of it in the first place. There were times that I felt so horrible for what I'd done to him, how I'd made him wait. Every time I expressed this to him he would simply smile, telling me that it didn't matter. We were together now, and anything that he had gone through before this had been worth it.

Going back to school the next fall was as easy as it had been in first year. Having him close was all I needed. As I'd done the two years before I arranged his room for him, informing him that after his little re-decorating stint he had lost all privileges of even having a say in where things went. He had gotten an apartment with a few of the guys on the basketball team, where I was just a block away with a few girls from my program. I knew that things would be better this year.

I think what amazed me the most was how things didn't really change between us. They changed, of course, but not as much as I thought they would have. We simply got closer. The times when he would kiss me caused my brain to malfunction and my knees to collapse in a way that Shinji had never done to me. Takeru stayed the same; my rock and my hope. My best friend. And he would forever be my best friend, as far as I was concerned about it. It was just that sometimes 'best friend' and 'boyfriend' were the same thing. Maybe, as people grow older, they are the same thing. Because it's very difficult to have both.

Finally we had allowed ourselves to join the dance that was going on around us; the dance that so many, Takeru included, had insisted that I join. And I wasn't going to resist it any longer. I was finally going to allow myself to fall under the spell as the dance went on around me. I was going to allow myself to get carried away by the love that has been there for me this whole time.

~*~

There was one night that Takeru called me up particularly late. I had just finished writing a particularly hard midterm exam, and I was looking forward to a nice long and stress-free sleep. But I couldn't resist seeing him; he always made me feel better. Losing sleep was nothing when I got to see him, and because of the time of year spending a lot of quality time together had been difficult. The difference in our programs had not really allowed for us to be able to study together, though we tried when the time was available. He had called me to our place on campus where we had met all those times; the tradition that had been started so long ago. We were in the midst of our third year now, both of us graduating after the following year was complete.

The tears clouded my vision as I watched him. Our relationship had bloomed, turning into something I had never even imagined possible. Every time I thought about it, I realised what a fool I had been to ever refuse him. The things I was feeling now…I could have had it so much earlier, saving myself and him much turmoil, if I had only not been so thick enough to realise it all.

So how I could ever deserve such a person, I would never really know. I'd put him through so much, and yet he still waited. I can barely remember the first time he told me he loved me; it seems like so long ago. But I was younger and naïve then, as well as oblivious to my own feelings. I thought I didn't care. But I had loved him then. Miyako had been right; I had loved him the whole time. I'd never thought myself as being a tenacious person, but I guess I'm more like my brother than I thought. He should have left; he should have run off to find someone more deserving. But he didn't. Just like he promised, Takeru waited.

And now he was kneeling before me, my left hand gently grasped between both of his. I knew what was coming. Earlier I hadn't, though I had noticed his nerves. Who would blame him? I had rejected him so many times before. And something told me that even if I did the same now still he wouldn't leave. He really would wait until there was some definitive reason for why I wasn't going to be following him. But there was nothing holding me back; not anymore.

All I could do was stand there, blubbering like a fool as he began to speak. I wanted to look away from him, but his clear blue eyes had me entranced. There was no escaping this moment.

"Yagami Hikari," he started, and my only response was to choke out another sob.

He smiled, and continued, "I've waited a long time, you know, but I'll have to say that it's been worth it. We've been through quite a bit, and I never want to have to go through anything else without you. I love you, more now than I ever have, and I would like to have the opportunity to come to love you even more."

My free hand was covering my mouth in a vain effort to contain myself. My body was rigid with anticipation, even shaking a little. I already knew what I was going to say.

Suddenly his confident demeanour faltered slightly, but I never saw anything but love in his eyes. He let go with one of his hands and reached into his pocket. The tiny, navy blue felt box that emerged with his hand almost sent me over the edge, but I managed to hold myself together. I could see that he was also shaking as he flipped the lid open, revealing a shining diamond ring. It wasn't huge, but it was something that was still quite substantial given that he was on the salary of a student. It was comprised of three diamonds, the one in the centre being the largest. I noticed some engraving on the band, and upon closer inspection I would later see the words 'Forever in my life' etched into the metal of the band in a script more elegant than I could imagine. Leave it to Takeru to make things really special.

My gaze flitted from the ring back to his face, where I met his expectant blue eyes. It would seem that he had been waiting for me yet again. He sat in silence for a few more moments, the sound of my erratic breathing the only thing permeating the silent night air. And then he smiled my favourite smile; the one that I now knew was meant only for me.

"Will you marry me, Hikari?"

I was sobbing still, but my head bobbed in an eager nod. _Finally_ he'd gotten to it. To reaffirm my answer I threw myself down to his level, unable to get myself close enough to him. It was awkward and probably looked silly, but I didn't care and I didn't think he did either. Eventually my lips found his and I put every amount of passion I could muster into that kiss. As always he was gentle, but it was difficult to ignore the feeling in the atmosphere that had enveloped us.

Pulling away only slightly, he looked at me again. The look on his eyes and the smile on his face was nothing but pure bliss. I knew that my own expression was the same. His gaze then left mine and I looked down to see him fumbling with the navy blue box. With one hand, for the other was against the side of my neck, he managed to pull the ring from its spot. I pulled back farther still, but only to allow him room to take my left hand again. The hand that had been at my neck trailed down the length of my arm until it supported my own hand, and he silently took the other and placed the ring on my fourth finger. A perfect fit; of course it would be. This was _Takeru_ we were talking about.

At this point we decided that it was time to get up off the ground, and he carefully helped me up from our spot. The clouds that hung overhead had threatened rain before, and I thought I felt a few drops on my arm. I didn't take too much notice to it though, and neither did he. All I was aware of was the face of my best friend; the face of the man I loved. It had taken me a long time to realise that we would still always be best friends, our bond was just now that much deeper. Our relationship would not change; just grow into something more beautiful. I don't know what it was that had me so frightened, or why I spent so many years in denial. All I knew was that I was the luckiest girl on earth to have such a man; a man that would wait forever for me. He leaned in to give me another kiss, this one much more skilled than the last. I knew now that I was glad I hadn't made him wait as long as forever, because being together with him now was much more completing than if I had spent all that time running. I realise now that maybe I even enjoyed the chase, but I wasn't going to make him pursue any longer. He had me now, and he would have me for eternity.

~*~

Calmer of the Storm: Well, there you have it, folks! I really enjoyed writing this story. It might even be my favourite so far. I'm really good at putting in plot holes and inconsistencies, so let me know. I tried really hard not to and I eliminated a couple before hand...hopefully I got them all.

It's funny I'm almost a little sad...lol. But at least I have another story to keep me going! I'll post the prologue up pretty soon. I know I'm not one to depend on reviews or anything, but that one won't be continued if there isn't a base for it. Then again, that could be another lie. Lol.

Anyways...until next week when I post that story...ciao!!


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